How about this. This was probably when I was at my prime as far as being an "essayist."
The Power of the Attitude
As you open your eyes, you realize another day is before you. You get up, yawn, rub your eyes, and start getting ready for the upcoming day. Then, the one of the most important choices you will ever make is set before you. How will I choose to behave and/or react to others today? In what manner should I pursue the day? Ponder this throughout the entire essay.
What I am about to discuss is this decision that you are given. It begins when you rise from your bed, and ends when you lay yourself down to sleep. I am going to discuss the power of one's attitude. If one awakens and dreads the day to come, despising the very thought of the process, they are usually in a sorrowful and complacent mood for the remains of the day. The cause of this is that they have their minds on the negative aspects of what is to come and what they must experience. This is a common phenomenon, as it is only human nature to act on one's emotions. But we must realize that we are not flawless, and our emotions do not always function in the fashion most preferable to us. What ew must do when we are dreading the negatives of the day we are only assuming will come is push the doubtful emotions away and savor the moment. Realize that this is a part of life. There are many occasions in which we must do what we do not desire to do. This is when we must acknowledge that it is unavoidable. One cannot change the fact that they must do what they must do, but they can change their perspective and attitude toward those things which are to come.
The attitude is an ominous tool which has the power to either make you or break you in this journey through life, and one must be trained in how to use it most effectively for the benefit of themselves and the benefit of those around them. Another point I wish to express is that one's attitude is quite contagious. By now you are aware of the fact that your companions in this journey put you in high regard. Our decisions matter much more than we often like to think. One's attitude can have an influence on another attitude, which can have influence on another attitude, etc. etc. This is one of the main reasons why a single attitude can be as dangerous as I warn that they are.
As I have previously stated, it is only natural to act on your emotions, but this generation is often afraid to face the fact that this is a foolish and unwise decision. One must learn that they cannot always control their emotions, but that they can always control the attitude, though can be quite difficult to do. In conclusion, discipline yourself and train yourself to control your attitude. Once you have mastered this dangerously essential technique, it will become natural to you, and you will become a more personable individual.
Responses to your criticism-I have a great education, and I do not believe I always write like a "small child." I have written far better essays than that. Also bear in mind that that was created in the process of a single night, meaning that I was tired, stressed (I wanted to get the essay to my friend the next morning), and that could be the reason I was not in top shape. Try this on for size.