Cactus Game Design Message Boards

Redemption® Collectible Trading Card Game HQ => Redemption® Resources and Thinktank => New Card Ideas => Topic started by: browarod on August 11, 2016, 06:38:41 AM

Title: Untamed Tongue
Post by: browarod on August 11, 2016, 06:38:41 AM
Untamed Tongue
0/0 Pale Green/Gray Evil Enhancement
-Limit 1 per territory-
Place on a Hero: While in battle, withdraw and paralyze opponents' Heroes in battle for 2 turns. Cannot be prevented.
~James 3:8


The ability on this card was inspired by the verse itself. James talks about how the tongue "is a restless evil and full of deadly poison" so I wanted to make a card trying to reflect that. The hero you place this on has an issue with his tongue and makes any other heroes that interact with him (via banding) not want to interact with him again (the protect). It also gives you the option of paralyzing some heroes if your opponent continues to band with the one this is placed on.

I don't know that the reward (preventing some banding, maybe paralyzing) is really worth the niche use and trigger (there are more efficient ways to get around banding) but the wording is already clunky enough so I wasn't sure how to add anything else.
Title: Re: Untamed Tongue
Post by: browarod on August 11, 2016, 10:23:01 PM
I actually forgot to include a duration on the paralyze (so it was permanent before) but I've remedied that. I don't really know how else to word it to make it clearer. :(
Title: Re: Untamed Tongue
Post by: Kevinthedude on August 11, 2016, 11:38:21 PM
What about "Place on a Hero: Heros in battle with that Hero are withdrawn and cannot band while that Hero remains in play."?
Title: Re: Untamed Tongue
Post by: browarod on August 12, 2016, 12:12:43 AM
What about "Place on a Hero: Heros in battle with that Hero are withdrawn and cannot band while that Hero remains in play."?
I didn't use your wording exactly but it gave me an idea for how to streamline the ability, so thanks!

Updated ability is in the first post.
Title: Re: Untamed Tongue
Post by: TheJaylor on August 12, 2016, 12:29:40 AM
I feel like one of the main reasons I wouldn't use the card as is is that it leaves my Heroes susceptible to my opponent's banding and then paralysis. A Faith of Samuel to band in my entire offense and paralyze it for two turns would be brutal.

Also, I'm not sure that it would work as currently worded since I think the condition of other Heroes being in battle would only check when Untamed Tongue is placed. A clearer wording could be: "Place on a Hero: if that Hero enters battle, withdraw and paralyze all other Heroes in battle for two turns." Not sure how to concisely word it so that it would withdraw any other Heroes being banded in but that's something to think about I guess.
Title: Re: Untamed Tongue
Post by: Kevinthedude on August 12, 2016, 12:42:40 AM
I it does work because a : is an implied "While this card remains" and would be an ongoing affect. Clarifying text certainly wouldn't hurt though.
Title: Re: Untamed Tongue
Post by: browarod on August 12, 2016, 12:47:30 AM
I thought about the implications of banding to your own heroes and paralyzing them but thought it might be too powerful if I included a caveat for that.

I've updated the wording.
Title: Re: Untamed Tongue
Post by: Isildur on August 12, 2016, 06:13:18 PM
I really like the idea but the wording is still a little funky... It clearly does what is intended but using the word "that" is still a little vague, it took me a couple of times of reading the ability to figure out what it did.
Title: Re: Untamed Tongue
Post by: browarod on August 16, 2016, 09:55:20 PM
I really like the idea but the wording is still a little funky... It clearly does what is intended but using the word "that" is still a little vague, it took me a couple of times of reading the ability to figure out what it did.
Any suggestions on making it clearer?
Title: Re: Untamed Tongue
Post by: Isildur on August 18, 2016, 03:01:23 AM
I've been out of the game long enough that I'm no longer sure how to give advice on how to make it clearer... I would personally word it something like...

Place on a Hero: While in battle, if an opponent's Hero is in battle with this Hero, paralyze all Heroes in battle for 2 turns. Cannot be prevented.

That might increase the power level a tad... closer to All Hope is Lost but I think it clears up the wording a bit. You could also change the ability to "...paralyze one hero in battle for 2 turns.". I'm also pretty sure... you don't need to say withdraw because I think paralyzing a hero automatically withdraws it... though I could be wrong on that.
Title: Re: Untamed Tongue
Post by: Josh on August 18, 2016, 09:38:45 AM
Because of how this is worded, the paralysis will only happen if your opponent bands to the hero you placed Untamed Tongue on, or you play Siege on defense.  Basically, this card will stop your opponent from banding to one specific hero. 

I suggest rewording it as such:

"Place on a hero:  While that hero is in battle, you may discard this card to paralyze that hero and X heroes in play for 2 turns.  Cannot be prevented."  (X = number of opponent's good brigades)

Title: Re: Untamed Tongue
Post by: Minister Polarius on August 18, 2016, 09:41:38 AM
Don't need to specify "while in battle." If the opponent's Hero is in battle with him, he's in battle.

"Cannot be Prevented [put it here if you want it to be able to play through Moses]. Place on a Hero: when played and when a Hero enters battle with or bands to this Hero, withdraw and paralyze for 2 turns all controller's opponents' heroes in battle."

It's messy but it's the way to word it to do exactly what you want it to.
SimplePortal 2.3.3 © 2008-2010, SimplePortal